


I Just Can't Help It Myself

by makingdemands



Category: Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Canon Compliant, Flirting, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23195065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makingdemands/pseuds/makingdemands
Summary: “Thanks for abandoning me, assholes.” Kihyun said loudly, covering his mouth so no cameras could catch him swearing. “I just nearly got eaten alive by Park Jimin.”“Aww, Jiminie came to talk to you?” Jooheon asked, sounding both fond and bemused.“He was being super fucking weird.” Kihyun said, grimacing as he played back the entire encounter in his mind.“What do you mean?” Minhyuk asked, laughing slightly.“I don’t know, it was like he was… like, flirting with me?” Kihyun explained, still covering his mouth. He didn’t really want to come to this conclusion, but how else could he interpret Jimin’s actions?
Relationships: Min Yoongi | Suga/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 91





	I Just Can't Help It Myself

**Author's Note:**

> Yoongi and Kihyun, I just want to talk!!!
> 
> I have a love/hate relationship with this fic right now, I'll be honest. I feel like I sound like I'm trying a bit too hard. I don't know. I'm feeling anxious because of the state of our world right now and I just want to accomplish something!
> 
> I was originally going to write this in a universe where the Wonho thing never happened but I felt like I was being immature so warning for mentions of that. This all takes place in a loosely constructed timeline of the 2019 end of year award shows. Don't think too hard about it.
> 
> The title is from Desire by Ateez because that song SLAPS!!!

“Kihyun-sunbaenim!” 

Kihyun jumped a bit as he felt a hand fall on his shoulder. He looked around, shocked to find that his members were not behind him as he thought. It was always kind of a mess when all the idols were on stage at the end of an award show, so maybe it was an accident that they were separated, but somehow Kihyun doubted it. Instead, only BTS Jimin was next to him, smiling widely with his crooked front tooth on display. 

“Ah… Jimin-sunbae…” Kihyun replied, bowing as best as he could with Jimin’s hand gripping his shoulder firmly. “Hello.” He was a bit confused. Park Jimin had literally never spoken to him before. Kihyun was mostly friends with Yoongi… or well he _was_ … But, either way, Jooheon was the one who really knew the BTS members the most. 

“Hello,” Jimin said back with a giggle, also doing a half-assed bow. “I just wanted to compliment you on your performance. Your voice is amazing, sunbaenim. I wish I could sing like that.”

“Oh… thank you.” Kihyun replied politely, a bit of a blush forming on his cheeks. It was nothing he didn’t already know, but something about the way Jimin was staring at him intensely was making his neck sweat. It was probably just the stage lights though. “Your performance was good too. I wish we had the budget for a big show like that.” He chuckled, trying to swallow his bitterness.

Jimin just smiled sweetly, “Thank you _so_ much, Kihyun-sunbaenim!” His hand released its grip on Kihyun’s shoulder finally, but trailed slowly down his back before coming to a rest around Kihyun’s waist. He leaned in a bit closer, probably just so Kihyun could hear him better. “You guys don’t need a big production like that. Your performances are always so powerful and _sexy_ . You looked _so_ handsome up there, I thought I might fall for a man.” 

Jimin’s lecherous wink with that comment was the last straw. As Kihyun quickly wiggled out of Jimin’s grasp, his heart rate was increasing by the second. He laughed nervously, “Um, thank you Jimin-ssi.”

“Please, you can be less formal.” Jimin said with a leer, looking like he was about to unhinge his jaw and swallow Kihyun whole.

“ _Jimin-ssi_.” Kihyun replied firmly. “I, uh, have to get back to my group now. We’ll have to do a bow soon.”

Jimin’s lips formed an exaggerated pout, but he backed off nonetheless. “I’ll see you later then, sunbaenim.” He wiggled his tiny fingers in a flirtatious wave as Kihyun practically booked it over to where he saw the rest of his members standing.

“Thanks for abandoning me, assholes.” Kihyun said loudly, covering his mouth so no cameras could catch him swearing. “I just nearly got eaten alive by Park Jimin.”

“Aww, Jiminie came to talk to you?” Jooheon asked, sounding both fond and bemused. 

“He was being super fucking weird.” Kihyun said, grimacing as he played back the entire encounter in his mind.

“What do you mean?” Minhyuk asked, laughing slightly. The rest of them were barely paying attention, mostly focused on trying to find their fans in the crowd based only on the shape of their light sticks.

“I don’t know, it was like he was… like, flirting with me?” Kihyun explained, still covering his mouth. He didn’t really want to come to this conclusion, but how else could he interpret Jimin’s actions?

Minhyuk and Jooheon laughed loudly, nearly falling over each other. Kihyun crossed his arms, pressing his tongue against his cheek in annoyance. He really didn’t enjoy being laughed at. 

“Sorry, but, that’s just what Jimin is like, hyung.” Jooheon said, after their laughter had died down a bit. 

Minhyuk placed a placating hand on Kihyun’s shoulder, which was quickly shaken off. “I promise you, Kihyun-ah, Jimin is probably off doing the same thing to some other poor unsuspecting fool right now.”

To prove their point, Jooheon and Minhyuk started scanning the mess of idols on stage, trying desperately to find Jimin’s ash blonde head of hair. Sure enough, he had both his arms wrapped around two members of Seventeen and a gigantic smirk on his face.

“See, he’s just friendly, hyung.” Jooheon insisted. “Sorry to dash your dreams if you were hoping to get a piece of that.”

“Ah, of course we all know Kihyun only has eyes for one Bangtan member.” Minhyuk teased.

“Shut up.” Kihyun shot back instantly, bristling up at the accusation. He crossed his arms even tighter across his chest, as if to protect himself. Minhyuk was giving him that look like he was gonna try to get Kihyun to open up more later when they got back to their shared hotel room. Kihyun made sure to give him the look back that said no way in hell was Minhyuk getting shit out of him tonight.

Thankfully, Hyunwoo and Changkyun started shouting as they finally spotted a group of Mondoongies, making them all stop what they were doing and excitedly greet their fans. Kihyun was just glad all that was over with now, he didn’t like being embarrassed. He just had to hope Park Jimin never felt the need to speak to him ever again.

* * *

Of course, that would make Kihyun’s life too easy. A couple days later, he found himself at yet another year end music show. They all kind of blurred together in his mind, it was the same routine over and over again. This year sucked more than others obviously, because of the circumstances. They had to majorly change a lot of their performance plans, now that they had to do everything without Hoseok. But they made it through and were finally at the end, on the goodbye stage waving to the crowd, trying to find Monbebes. 

They had unintentionally split up, Kihyun walking off with Minhyuk, Changkyun, and Jooheon to talk to the members of GOT7. Kihyun felt a jolt of panic in his stomach as he saw Jimin walking in his direction, this time with Taehyung and Jungkook trailing behind him. He breathed out a sigh of relief when it seemed that they were just coming to talk to BamBam and Yugyeom.

Unfortunately, that relief was short lived, as soon enough he felt the heat of Jimin’s predatory gaze on him once again. Kihyun quickly turned to Jackson and Jooheon, trying to somehow insert himself into whatever they were screaming about. But it was no use, before he knew it, he was swarmed by Park Jimin _and_ Kim Taehyung. 

Taehyung threw an arm around Kihyun’s shoulders, _far_ too casually considering Kihyun had _literally_ never spoken a word to him before. He was somehow towering over the older man, had he always been this big? Kihyun honestly hadn’t been this close to him since he was much younger, when he used to visit the quaint BTS dorms very occasionally. Kihyun pushed his shoulders back, trying to wiggle his way out of Taehyung’s touch.

“Relax, Kihyun-hyungie.” Taehyung said, placing a giant hand on Kihyun’s chest to stop him.

“Yah!” Kihyun exclaimed, still wiggling desperately. He glanced over at his members, who were clearly pretending to be engrossed in their conversation with GOT7 and deliberately ignoring Kihyun’s struggle. Though Jungkook and BamBam had stopped their conversation to watch curiously. “That’s Kihyun-ssi to you, punk. When did I give you permission to call me hyung?”

“Sorry, Kihyun-ssi.” Taehyung replied smugly, somehow managing to bow sarcastically. “I didn’t mean to disrespect you. It was a force of habit.”

“Where did you get this outfit, sunbaenim?” Jimin asked, replacing Taehyung’s hand on Kihyun’s chest with his own. He ran his hand down Kihyun’s torso, as if feeling the fabric, but actually feeling the ridges of Kihyun’s newly acquired abs. “It makes you look so _sexy_.”

“I-I don’t know.” Kihyun replied shakily, finally managing to escape from the two demons. He rushed over to Minhyuk’s side, in an attempt to find some security. “Minhyuk-ah, do you remember who designed these outfits?”

There were always two ways a situation like this could go, either Minhyuk could have his back or he could throw him to the wolves. Either was just as likely to happen. Thankfully, Minhyuk smiled at the two BTS members and started rattling off designer names. 

“Oh, Minhyuk-sunbaenim,” Jimin simpered after Minhyuk was done bullshitting about fashion. “You guys must have amazing focus to be able to perform with Kihyun-sunbaenim there being so… _distracting_.” He was really laying it on thick. Even Taehyung couldn’t help but let out a giggle, though he was swiftly smacked by Jimin in retaliation. 

“What, this guy?” Minhyuk asked, and once again Kihyun had an unwanted arm around his shoulders. “I guess we’re just used to him at this point.” He laughed, looking at the exasperated expression on Kihyun’s face.

“I can’t imagine!” Taehyung spoke up, “Every single time I hear him sing it gives me chills. I’d never get used to the sound!”

This time it was Jungkook trying to muffle his giggles. Just when Kihyun was finally about to ask what the fuck these kids were up to, several confetti cannons went off all at once. Everyone on stage ceased their conversation and all their focus turned to fucking around with the confetti. Before Kihyun even knew it, the three youngest Bangtan boys were nowhere to be found. 

“You saw that right?” Kihyun asked Minhyuk once they had all been corralled backstage. 

“Saw what?” Minhyuk replied, actually sounding genuinely confused.

Kihyun gesticulated vaguely, “Fucking, _Jimin_! And Taehyung too!”

“They were just complimenting you, Kihyun-ah.” Minhyuk said, this time with a bit of a mischievous grin. 

“What happened?” Hyungwon asked, wandering into their conversation after downing a bottle of water.

“Kihyun is mad because our good friends and Artist of the Year, Bangtan Sonyeondan, were giving him compliments.” Minhyuk explained.

Hyungwon snorted and Kihyun quickly launched into a string of denials.

“It’s fucking weird! You didn’t see them, Hyungwon-ah.” Kihyun tried to explain, even though he knew Hyungwon cared more about making fun of him than the truth. “They‘ve never spoken to me before and now suddenly they’re… undressing me with their eyes?! It was unholy.”

“You think too highly of yourself, Kihyun-ssi.” Hyungwon said with a laugh. “Just accept the compliments from your sunbaes.”

“No, I don’t like it.” Kihyun shook his head, “Hyungwon. Can’t you tell J-Hope-nim to get them to stop?”

Hyungwon snorted again, “Oh yeah, I’ll talk to him.”

“Thank you.”

* * *

A few days later, Kihyun found himself on yet another stage, this time holding a camera on a stick to film himself and Changkyun fucking around. He hated that he kept shooting nervous looks over to where BTS were standing, all surrounding their leader holding the camera as they desperately tried to fit into one frame. Maybe this self-cam was a blessing in disguise, as long as he was holding the camera, Jimin wouldn’t dare come flirt with him, right? 

Almost too quickly, said camera was snatched out of his hands, and Changkyun was giggling as he chased after the thieves, Jooheon and Hyungwon. Then, before Kihyun could even go join them, he was once again flocked by BTS’s maknae line. 

“Ah!” Kihyun let out a shout as they all seemingly materialized out of thin air next to him. Three pairs of hands found their way onto his body, stopping him from falling over, which wasn’t actually a real threat. 

“Sorry for scaring you, Kihyun-sunbaenim.” Jimin spoke in his most fatally cute voice. 

“We just wanted to compliment you on your performance, again!” Taehyung continued, matching Jimin’s tone, as if the two had rehearsed this.

Jungkook apparently wasn’t there for the rehearsal, as he was just fixating his doe eyes on Kihyun’s suit jacket, hypnotically rubbing the velvet shoulders. Kihyun not so subtly jerked his shoulder away from the younger man’s hands.

“Ah, uh, s-sunbae!” Jungkook stuttered. He glanced nervously over to Jimin, and a surge of confidence seemed to take over him. “You looked so sexy tonight with your hair pushed back like that.” A cheeky grin spread across Jungkook’s face as he pushed his own hair back as an example. Jimin and Taehyung tried to hide their laughs, amused at the dramatic display.

Kihyun glared back and Jungkook’s smile fell instantly. He shyly backed off, pouting as he hid behind Taehyung’s broad shoulders. 

Jimin was undeterred by the rudeness, perhaps even fueled by it, as he was soon smoothing his evil little hands against Kihyun’s slicked back hair. “It really is a good look for him, you’re right Jungkookie.”

Kihyun looked around desperately for help, because if Taehyung also started touching his hair he was going to have no choice but to knock his and Jimin’s heads together. Across the stage, he spotted Hyungwon with his arm around BTS Hoseok’s waist. Next to them, Jin and Yoongi were still playing it up for Namjoon holding their self-cam. 

Kihyun shuddered as he remembered having to walk past BTS earlier to get back to their seats. Not only did he have to deal with Jimin _winking_ at him, but then Yoongi had the _nerve_ to try to _hug_ him. He knew damn well they didn’t talk anymore. Why were these Bangtan boys so set on making Kihyun feel incredibly uncomfortable at every single award show?

Yoongi had to be in on it, right?

Before Kihyun could continue his train of thought, he was interrupted by J-Hope being loud as fuck right next to his ear.

“Now what are you boys doing over here!” Hoseok asked, throwing his arms around both Jimin and Jungkook. “Paying your respects to our sunbae, I see.” He shot a wink in Kihyun’s direction, causing the man in question to promptly lose his fucking mind.

Hoseok?? _J-Hope_????? Wasn’t he better than whatever fucking game they were playing?!

Kihyun crossed his arms, “Excuse me, I have to go.” He said tightly, almost making a clean escape. But of course, a hand on his shoulder stopped him. Normally, he would just keep walking, but he was aware that he was being filmed and there was a huge crowd watching and he had four members of the biggest group in K-Pop next to him. 

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, Kihyun-ssi.” Hoseok said, still grinning widely. “It’s just that, Hyungwon told me to do it.”

“Eh??” Kihyun exclaimed, he was absolutely going to kill his dongsaeng. How could he betray him like this? “So, for what reason, exactly?”

“Well—” Hoseok started, before he was quickly mauled by his other three members. 

“Hobi-hyung, nooo…” Taehyung whined, “Don‘t ruin it.”

“I wasn’t gonna say anything!” Hoseok defended, throwing his hands up in defeat.

“You can’t lie to save your life, hyung.” Jimin countered, “No offense.”

“Wah… Jimin-ssi…” Hoseok complained, placing a hand over his heart. “You wound me.”

“Looks like we have to go now!” Jimin said, shooting a coy smile at Kihyun. “Can't wait to see you next week, Kihyun hyung!”

The four men were gone before Kihyun could even yell “Yah!”

* * *

“I swear to god, if any of you leave me alone again, I will kill you.” Kihyun threatened his members as they prepped backstage for the goodbye stage. 

“What’s going on?” Hyunwoo asked, trying not to scrunch up his face too much as he leaned down for the makeup artist to touch him up. 

“Kihyun-hyung thinks the entirety of Bangtan Sonyeondan is out to get him.” Jooheon explained with a laugh.

“Literally four of them were in my face last week.” Kihyun insisted. “That’s more than half!”

“Why don’t you just ask Yoongi to tell them to leave you alone? If it bothers you so much.” Hyunwoo offered, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. 

“Ah, hyung, don’t mention _He Who Must Not Be Named_.” Minhyuk stage whispered, saying the reference in English.

“What? Aren’t they friends?”

“Shownu-hyung really is like a parent who doesn’t get when you stop talking to one of your friends.” Changkyun observed. 

“Did you guys fight?” Hyunwoo asked, sincerely sounding concerned for Kihyun. He placed a comforting hand on the shorter man’s shoulder, albeit awkwardly since he was still getting his makeup done.

“No! No.” Kihyun said, at first too loudly, then too seriously. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You _never_ want to talk about it.” Minhyuk whined. “I was there when you guys first started your whole thing, and now suddenly I don’t get to know this spicy update? That’s not very fair.”

“Life’s not fair.” Kihyun replied curtly, anxiously opening his phone to check himself out. He snapped a few selfies to post later, someone had to now that Hoseok wasn’t allowed to tweet anymore. 

Kihyun seriously did not feel like dealing with this bullshit right now. He had only just recently started feeling reluctantly better about promoting without Hoseok. But Jooheon was still taking it pretty hard, and they were just barely keeping themselves afloat. Their company was pushing them forward, insisting on continuing with the plans for their American comeback as if nothing had happened. Kihyun didn’t need to be teased by some people he barely knew. Did Yoongi think this was _funny_ or something? 

“Will you shut up? I can hear you thinking.” Minhyuk muttered, clapping his shoulder to snap him out of his reverie. “Come on, I promise I’ll stay by your side.” Then he started serenading Kihyun with a rendition of By My Side as the crew started pushing them out to the stage.

Things went pretty smoothly at first, all the members kind of mixing themselves amongst the many Seventeen members. Kihyun was hoping Mingyu’s giant body was enough to hide him from any member of BTS who wanted to speak to him, _any_ of them.

Clearly it was too good to be true, when sure enough none other than Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin we’re walking up to him. And wouldn’t you know it, Minhyuk had left his side.

Kihyun crossed his arms as the two approached him with seemingly innocent expressions. “Not you guys too.” Of all the BTS members, besides… him… Namjoon and Seokjin were the ones Kihyun had actually spoken to the most. For a little while, Namjoon was one of the only other members in the Bangtan dorms besides Yoongi. And Seokjin was Yoongi’s roommate, so Kihyun definitely had a few choice encounters with him.

“Ah,” Namjoon had the _audacity_ to look sheepish. He bowed deeply to Kihyun, Seokjin quickly following suit. “We actually came to apologize. We just found out what they were up to and I’m sorry if they bothered you.” 

“O-oh…” Kihyun replied, not expecting an apology. He scratched the back of his neck, trying not to appear as incredibly hostile as he did before. “Um, thank you, I guess. It wasn’t that bad, just… I didn’t really know what was going on.” Kihyun said with a chuckle, suddenly feeling embarrassed for even being so worked up over it. Maybe he was overreacting.

“I think I can see why they were doing it.” Seokjin said, the corners of his lips twitching. “Watching you on stage… you’re just so irresistible. I could barely hold myself back the past few weeks.”

Kihyun choked, “Excuse me?”

“Yah, Kihyun-hyung…” Namjoon lifted his arm as if he was going to touch Kihyun, then chickened out and instead just clenched his fist in the air. “You really have something special. I can see the appeal.”

Kihyun was absolutely fuming. He pushed past the two, now giggling, men in front of him. Storming over to where the rest of BTS were standing, and right up to Yoongi who was aimlessly pacing around clapping his hands slightly. 

“Yah!” 

All of the color left Yoongi’s face as Kihyun stopped in front of him, his hands frozen mid-clap. He couldn’t seem to find the ability to speak, so Kihyun barrelled on. 

“Tell them to _stop_!” He hissed, “Did you put them up to this?! Do you think it’s funny? You want to get back at me for… whatever happened between us?! Well, it’s working! You did it, I’m mad! Congratulations, looks like another win for you tonight.” 

Kihyun stomped off in a huff to conclude his tirade. Yoongi just stood gaping in Kihyun’s wake, hands still frozen in place. Hot guilt bubbled in Kihyun’s stomach as he was soon intercepted by Hyunwoo and Changkyun guiding him backstage. It was times like this he really wished Hoseok was still with them. If anyone was going to stop Kihyun from doing something stupid like blowing up on his ex-boyfriend on television and in front of a crowd of thousands, it was him.

* * *

Back in his hotel room, Kihyun was slowly ripping off the chapped skin on his lips with his teeth as he scrolled through Twitter. So far, he hadn’t seen any videos of him and Yoongi, but it was only a matter of time before some fan who managed to sneak a recording got home and posted it. Why did he have to be so reckless and short tempered all the time? That’s probably why Yoongi dumped him in the first place. He knew Kihyun was a petty little bitch who was jealous because BTS was swiftly becoming more and more popular while he was left in the dust. 

“Kihyun-ah…” Minhyuk called softly from his bed adjacent to Kihyun’s. “Please stop freaking out. You’re gonna have a nervous breakdown and we can’t have you _and_ Jooheon out of commission.”

“Jooheonie isn’t going to be out of commission.” Kihyun insisted, as they all were trying to convince themselves even though his anxiety was getting worse every day. “I’ll be fine. I just need to do this right now.”

“No, you don’t, actually.” Minhyuk stated firmly, getting up so he could snatch Kihyun’s phone out of his hands. Kihyun sensed the attack coming and moved his phone out of the way before Minhyuk could touch it. They were about to launch into a full wrestling match when a knock at the door startled the two of them.

Kihyun shuddered as a wave of nostalgia washed over him. That was Yoongi’s knock. The one they half-jokingly created for their hotel hookups whenever they were in the same area. 

“Who’s there?” Minhyuk shouted, assuming it was a manager or something. Instead of answering, the person on the other side just knocked again. This time it was clear as day, Yoongi’s knock. Kihyun’s heart was about to beat out of his chest.

“Yah! What kind of person doesn’t say who they are when they knock?!” Minhyuk taunted as he climbed out of Kihyun’s bed. He glanced through the peephole and immediately ceased all complaints. “Wah, would you look at that! Min Suga, in the flesh, outside my hotel room!” Minhyuk said loud enough for Yoongi to hear through the door while looking straight at his roommate for the night. 

Kihyun shook his head frantically, gesturing for Minhyuk to tell him to go away. Of course, Minhyuk did no such thing, opening the door and allowing Yoongi to enter. 

“Ah, if you’ll excuse me.” Minhyuk announced, already half out the door. “I think Changkyunnie needs help with something!”

Yoongi was wearing a black bucket hat and a black mask, his entire face completely covered up. But there was no denying who was in Kihyun’s hotel room, taking off his puffy coat and tossing it on a chair like he owned the place.

“Can I help you?” Kihyun snapped from the bed, still practically gnawing on his lower lip. 

Yoongi pulled the mask down under his chin, “I’m sorry.” He said simply.

“Okay…” Kihyun replied, sitting up and leaning back on the headboard. He pulled his knees up protectively against his chest, his legs still wrapped in the hotel blanket. “If that’s all you have to say, you can leave now.”

“Oh, come on, Kihyun-ah.” Yoongi sighed. “You know that’s not all I have to say.”

“Then say it, coward.”

“I’m sorry that they were doing that to you, okay?” Yoongi sighed again, rubbing his face with both hands and almost knocking the hat off his head. “Look, I didn’t know it was happening. They wanted to tease me and they thought I saw them doing it, but I never even noticed.”

“So, you weren’t ever paying attention to me at any of those shows, got it.” Kihyun pursed his lips, nodding passive aggressively. 

“Kihyun-ah…”

“No, the message is coming across loud and clear, Yoongi-ssi!” Kihyun continued, “You’re so much bigger and better than me now that you don’t even notice I’m at the same event as you! Got more important things to think about then the person you dumped, I guess. Mr. Daesang All-Kill.”

He knew he was being petty and childish, but fuck it! If this is who Yoongi thought he was, he may as well act the part. 

“Kihyun, I don’t know where you got this idea that I think I’m somehow better than you, but it’s not true. At all.”

Yoongi sounded mad, which kind of made Kihyun feel better. Something that was so frustrating about being with Yoongi is that he liked to act like he was unbothered by things, even though Kihyun knew he could be just as much of a petty little bitch as Kihyun. 

“I don’t know, maybe it was you dumping me out of nowhere in 2018!” Kihyun scoffed, crossing his arms defensively across his chest. He felt all too vulnerable in only his loose sleep shirt and boxers, his bare legs covered only by the blanket. “You know, when you gave me literally no explanation then completely ghosted me while going off to spread the good word of Bangtan.”

“I’m sorry.” Yoongi said again, his voice stiff, like he was about to cry. Kihyun rolled his eyes.

“We were together for practically 5 years! You couldn’t even be bothered to hit me up when we were in America at the same time. You were the only idol friend I have who didn't text me after the news about Wonho came out. Then you randomly tried to _hug_ me the other day?!”

“Sorry. It just… happened.” Yoongi said, his cheeks flushing red. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what the fuck you’re thinking either. Ever! Because you never tell me!”

Yoongi sighed once more, “Look. I don’t want to make up a bunch of excuses, Kihyun-ah. I just want you to know I am sorry. I never wanted you to be hurt by me…” He hesitated before continuing, “That’s actually why I did what I did.”

“Oh _please_ explain to me your thought process there, Min Genius.” Kihyun put his hands together and begged sarcastically.

“I know it sounds stupid from the outside, but we were all really struggling in 2018. We were even thinking about disbanding. It was… a lot… and I knew I was going to be busy all year and I just.” Yoongi took a shaky breath, trying to control himself. ”I just felt like I was just a burden to you. I couldn’t be a good enough boyfriend, you deserved better. You still do.”

“You don’t think I can decide that for myself?” Kihyun shook his head, offended. “You know maybe, if you actually told me about your struggles and let me support you, like a boyfriend _should_ …” Kihyun was speaking faster and faster as he got more heated the more he ranted. “I would have _wanted_ to, you idiot! You weren’t a burden! I was in _love_ with you!”

“Was?” Yoongi asked meekly. He was just standing at the edge of Kihyun’s hotel bed, his hands shoved into the pockets of his probably stupid expensive black hoodie. Kihyun wanted to hate him _so bad_.

“Yeah well… I haven’t spent the last year trying to get over you for nothing.” Kihyun muttered bitterly. “It’s hard when you and your dumb group are all anyone talks about everywhere I go.”

“I know it’s a lot.” Yoongi softly replied, cringing at the thought. “I don’t necessarily like it either.”

“I know you don’t.” Kihyun chuckled mirthlessly. “You never change.” 

“You’re right, Kihyun-ah.” Yoongi nodded. “I never change. And neither do you. Our feelings never will either.”

“What are you getting at?” Kihyun questioned warily, hugging his legs even closer to himself. He basically already knew the answer, but he still needed to hear it from him.

“I know it’s asking a lot. We don’t have to jump right back into things like nothing ever changed. But I want you back in my life.” Yoongi explained easily. “Even if we never get to see each other. I know your schedule is just as jam packed as ours this year. I’m willing to wait until you’re ready, even if I just get to text you again, I’ll be happy. No one gets me quite like you do. And I _know_ you feel the same.” He sounded so sure of himself. Kihyun didn’t think it was even _possible_ for him to reject the other man, even if he wanted to.

“Yah… what is this romantic bullshit?” Kihyun sputtered, trying to hide the fact that he was blushing. He couldn’t help it, he always loved when Yoongi was assertive with him. 

“Come on, say I’m right.” Yoongi teased, resting his knees on Kihyun’s bed. 

Now Kihyun suddenly had a big decision to make. He could make Yoongi work for months to win him back, or he could swallow his pride and just accept the inevitable. Kihyun always did have a hard time swallowing his pride…

“Come here.” He said, finally releasing his legs and letting them stretch out in front of him.

“There?” Yoongi pointed at where Kihyun was sitting, now fully kneeling with all his weight on the bed. 

Kihyun scoffed, “Where else?” 

Yoongi pulled his hands out of his pocket, resting them on the bed and slowly crawling towards Kihyun. “You mean, like this?” He asked, playfully.

“If you keep fucking around I might change my mind!” Kihyun snapped, but his words suddenly had no heat behind them. 

It was ridiculous how whipped he was for Min Yoongi. It was like all his emotions were multiplied tenfold whenever it involved him. Maybe if it was anyone else, Kihyun wouldn’t forgive so easily, but since it was Yoongi… 

Maybe Kihyun just _missed_ him! Maybe he just wanted to have a boyfriend again. Maybe his reasons were purely selfish!

“I can hear you thinking.” Yoongi whispered now that he was fully hovering on top of Kihyun. Even though they hadn’t been in that position in what must have been a year and half or something, it felt as if no time had passed. It was so easy to fall back into the familiarity of their relationship.

“Make me stop then.” Kihyun responded quietly, grabbing Yoongi’s cheeks fondly. “Can you take off that stupid hat?”

“My hair looks bad.” Yoongi pouted, but he knocked the bucket hat off anyway, running his hand through his crunchy hairsprayed locks.

“Did you even shower before you came here?” Kihyun asked, wrinkling his nose as he dug his fingers into Yoongi’s overprocessed hair, trying to break up the stiff clumps.

“I literally snuck out the second I got the chance. I really wanted to see you.” Yoongi purred, closing his eyes like a pleased cat in response to Kihyun massaging his scalp. “I haven’t even taken my makeup off yet.”

Kihyun made a sad noise, he knew how much Yoongi hated having makeup on. He carefully pulled his hands out of Yoongi’s hair and reached over to the nightstand next to his bed. He had left his makeup wipes out since he got so distracted by his phone while he was getting ready for bed. 

He opened the package of wipes and pulled two out. Then he turned back to Yoongi, smirking at the man hovering above him. Kihyun grabbed his waist and flipped them, straddling the other man and sitting on his thighs.

“I’ll admit, I didn’t think tonight would go like this.” Yoongi joked, “But I guess it was always a possibility.”

“Don’t be a pervert.” Kihyun mock scolded, wielding both wipes in either of his hands and pressing them to Yoongi’s eyes without warning. The other man hummed, docilely letting Kihyun do whatever he wanted to his face.

It was silly. Just a few minutes ago, Kihyun hated Min Yoongi. Now he was tenderly wiping off his makeup? At the same time, it was also silly to try to hold himself back from happiness just because he wanted to hold a grudge. Kihyun had the rest of his life to be petty, right now he just wanted to feel happy again. He hadn’t been able to for a while.

“Now that you’re clean…” Kihyun mumbled, tossing the used makeup wipes to the side, for once not caring where they ended up right now. He just wanted to plant kisses all over Yoongi’s shiny face. 

“I really missed you.” Yoongi said quietly, his deep voice resonating in Kihyun’s bones. “I missed this intimacy. No one compares to you.”

Kihyun nodded in agreement, “I know.”

“Kiss me please.”

“Okay.”

Kihyun leaned down to connect their lips. Yoongi tasted the way he always did, like he just sucked down an entire iced americano a second ago. Nostalgia came crashing down on him in waves, but at the same time it was like they had never broken up in the first place. It was both a confusing and comforting feeling.

Kihyun pulled away far too soon, and Yoongi whined in response.

“Wait, I just want to say one thing.” Kihyun laughed at Yoongi’s pouting face. “I’m sorry too.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong though.” Yoongi frowned.

“Yes I did.” Kihyun rolled his eyes. “I know I was an asshole to you too. And I assumed the worst of you.”

“It was warranted.”

“Yah, just let me apologize to you!” Kihyun slapped his hand down on Yoongi’s chest.

The other man smiled, his gums showing proudly, “Okay, if you must. I forgive you, Yoo Kihyun.”

“Thank you.” Kihyun smiled back. “Now we can kiss again.”

“Thank god.”

* * *

Yoongi wasn’t allowed to stay the night, though Minhyuk was already planning on sleeping in Changkyun and Jooheon’s room if he wanted to, fully prepared to be sexiled. 

Instead, he and Kihyun just ended up talking for a while, doing some much needed catching up. It was nice for Kihyun to finally be able to open up about everything with Wonho with someone who wasn’t also directly affected by the situation. 

At the same time, it was nice for Yoongi to talk about his worries with someone who wasn’t in the same group. He’d almost forgotten how nice it was to have other idol friends, having been so caught up in BTS suddenly feeling so weirdly isolated from everyone else in K-Pop.

Reluctantly, Yoongi returned to his own hotel room sometime in the very early morning hours. Kihyun only letting him go since he was actually staying in the same hotel, just a few floors up. They made plans to meet up the next morning for breakfast, since they both miraculously had the day off. Might as well enjoy it while they had the chance.

Kihyun made his way down to the restaurant attached to the hotel, after a brief teasing session from his roommate about how chipper he looked. He was surprised when he found not only Yoongi waiting for him, but the entirety of BTS looking terribly ashamed of themselves. 

“They have something to say to you.” Yoongi said, his arms crossed as he looked at his members sternly. He gestured for them to speak. “Jimin-ah?”

“We’re sorry, Kihyun-ssi.” Jimin said solemnly, actually sounding sincere. He bowed deeply, the rest of them following. “I didn’t realize how insensitive I was being. I thought I was just messing around with Yoongi-hyung, since he never shuts up about you.”

“That’s _not_ true!” Yoongi interrupted quickly, shoving Jimin aside. 

Kihyun snorted with laughter at the sight, placing a hand on Jimin’s shoulder. “Thank you for telling me the truth, Jimin-ah.” 

Jimin grinned in response, continuing his targeted attack against Yoongi. “He might not have mentioned your name, but we all knew what he was moping about.”

“Just wait until his mixtape comes out.” Seokjin added with a smirk, “All the songs are gonna be mopey break up songs about you.”

“No!” Yoongi bemoaned, “This is not what I brought you here for!”

“Ah, Yoongi-hyung…” Taehyung threw an arm around Yoongi’s shoulders. “Don’t you think it’s your turn to be teased? Kihyun-hyungnim has already suffered enough.”

“You know, I like the way you think, Taehyung-ah.” Kihyun nodded, trying to hold back his laughter. “What do you say we all get a table so you can tell me more about how Yoongi was lost without me?”

Yoongi groaned, but made no motion to protest as Jungkook and Taehyung excitedly grabbed two small tables and started pushing them together. 

“Wait until I tell Kihyun about the time you got so wine drunk you wouldn’t shut up about how great your sex life used to be.” Jimin whispered evilly to Yoongi before grabbing a seat next to Taehyung. The rest of the Bangtan boys enthusiastically filled the table, talking amongst themselves about what to eat.

“I hope you know,” Yoongi murmured quietly to Kihyun. “I’m only doing this because I know it will genuinely make you feel better, you petty bitch.”

“And that's why I love you, baby.” Kihyun replied happily, and far too casually. It took everything in him not to grab Yoongi’s shocked face and press a kiss to his cute little nose. But they were in semi-public, so he resisted the urge. 

“Namjoon-ah!" Hoseok was shouting, "Tell the story about how Yoongi came home after a failed hook up because he called the guy Kihyun’s name!” 

“Oh, I _have_ to hear this one!” Kihyun exclaimed, rushing to claim one of the two empty seats left for them. 

“No, Namjoonie never tells it right.” Yoongi said as he took the seat next to Kihyun. “Let me do it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please validate me.


End file.
